at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
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