is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
