i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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