Having a random hookup so left but love u
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
cat food counts as protein by the way
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
