Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
