btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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