if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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