If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
