Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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