So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
