What a fucking waste of an outfit
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
