the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
