its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
