I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
