You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
