i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
