when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
