youre lurking in front of me
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
