Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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