If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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