the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
