great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
