3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Randomize
