the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
