No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
