its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
