weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Randomize
