There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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