I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Sober January is a disaster.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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