I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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