I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
