Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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