i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize