It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
