i wish my penis had a tongue
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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