If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I don't deserve a penis
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
