he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Randomize
