oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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