Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
