WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
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