i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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