apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Randomize
