he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
