It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
