This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
