I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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