YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
