i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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