Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
