Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
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