She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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