I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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