Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
